The Sheeple’s Court

For fuck sake guys, can’t we keep our shit together for more than a week at a time?

Every time it seems like one shitstorm has passed, be it #Oscarssowhite or #Britssowhite or #Teethsowhite or #Cocainesowhite or whatever the hell it is now, another one just comes along right behind it to make sure everyone is in a permanent state of outrage at something or other.

The major story this week is about Ke$ha (or Kedollarha), and her current legal disputes with her record label, Sony, and her producer, some bloke called Dr.Luke who I have genuinely never heard of.
Ke$ha claims that Dr.Luke sexually assaulted her on numerous occasions, and as a result caused her severe mental anguish that lead to eating disorders as well as other issues. So she brought a claim against Sony to release her from her contract so she could get away from him. Seems simple, seems like you can’t really disagree with Ke$ha, and it would at first glance.
Sadly, however, the vast majority of people on Facebook and twitter and tumblr don’t tend to read too much into things, and blahblahblah I’m getting a bit tired of repeating this shit. There are questions that need to be answered, why is Ke$ha having to raise criminal charges to settle a civil dispute, or why her and her mother testified under oath a few years ago that nothing untoward had ever happened between her and her producer. There are arguments to be made for the nature of psychological abusers, and whether Sony should have done more to protect her, there is much we don’t yet know, but I’m not here to pass judgment on a case that is still very much unfinished.

What I am here to pass judgment on is the legions of dumb ass like and share sheeple motherfudgers who need to get a grip, get their asses off the internet, and learn how the law works.
Law, be it in the UK, or in the USA, or literally anywhere, works on a pretty simple assumption. You are innocent until you are proven guilty. That is that. You want to prove someone guilty? You find the evidence. You want to prove your innocence? Get some goddamn evidence. Criminal charges, generally, must be proven beyond reasonable doubt, in order to ensure that innocent people aren’t sent to prison on false charges.
This is not a claim that Ke$ha is lying, as some have said, or that justice has failed her, this is a statement of a pretty fundamental cornerstone of any democratic and open judiciary.
Here’s the rub people, just because you think somebody is guilty, doesn’t mean they are. Did you read last week’s post? The one where I said nobody has to give a fuck about your opinions? That goes doubly so when it comes to a legal issue. Unless you are the judge in charge, which I’m presuming none of you are (correct me if I’m wrong), all you can do is shut the fuck up and wait and hear what they have to say.

The law does not care about your hashtags, the law does not care about your think pieces, your pseudo-intellectual blog posts (lol jk irony), your petitioning and your boycotts of Sony. Oh yeah, boycotting Sony? Really? What is that meant to achieve? Sony have a business agreement with Ke$ha, not a personal one. If she alleges assault against her producer, it’s not their responsibility to say “Okay you can go, forget the money that we’ve invested into you and your career.” They’re running a business, in fact Sony’s record arm is only part of a pretty huge conglomerate, so here’s what boycotting them is going to achieve – absolutely diddly fucking squat. Perhaps a manager should have sacked Dr.Luke as soon as the claims were first made, but that call wasn’t made, and now Sony will have to deal with the consequences whatever they may be. But those consequences aren’t for twitter to decide, if Sony breached an obligation then they will face justice in a court of law.

The point is this, the law will decide this case based upon the merits of the arguments on both sides and the evidence presented to them. That is that. If it ever got to the stage where judges started paying attention to social media campaigns, then justice would truly be broken.
It would be the start of a pretty long slope to some kind of reality justice show, “Hashtag innocent to let him go, hashtag guilty to send him down for 10 years, the choice is in your hands folks!” It’s like some kind of horrible Hunger Games/Judge Judy mashup, and it seems to be what some people genuinely want. There was an article on the Guardian (on which my comments were deleted several times for questioning the author, that’s how bullshitty her argument was) which essentially said that the idea of innocent until proven guilty shouldn’t apply to rape cases.
Could you imagine that? Nobody is saying that allegations shouldn’t be taken seriously, but allegations must be proven, to start assuming guilt and then trying to find innocence is like taking a shit in the woods and digging the ditch afterwards.

I’m watching Up while I write this, great film.

This morning another allegation of sexual assault emerged, from even longer ago than the Ke$ha case. The singer Larkin Grimm has alleged that Michael Gira, frontman of Swans (an incredible band for anyone who has never heard of them) raped her in 2008, while they were recording an album together and shortly before she was dropped from his record label. It would be easy to construct a narrative here, that Gira dropped her to keep her quiet, but that’s exactly what should not be done.
Gira has vehemently denied the accusations (see here: Pitchfork), with his wife writing a message of support for him as well as saying she has proof that Larkin is lying. It’s a mess, a dirty one, allegations of rape are never to be taken lightly. But at the same time it seems likely to inspire the same kind of statements as Ke$ha has, statements that seem to think all ideas of due process should be set aside just because some teen tweeters aren’t happy. It’s good that allegations of assault are being taken seriously and pursued by the relevant authorities, though one would hope they do the same when the perpetrators or victims aren’t as well known, but we mustn’t go too far in the other direction either.
As I’ve said many times before, social media has the power to do some truly great things, but it also has the power to be an incredibly shitty quagmire or misinformation and half formed opinions. Thus far in 2016 it’s pretty much all been the latter, it’s been people assuming that they are qualified to comment on something simply because they read an article that rubbed them up the wrong way. I say article, more often than not it’s just clickbait, really, painfully obvious clickbait.

I know this is a sensitive topic, I appreciate that. Rape and sexual assault are incredibly serious offences, they should not be taken lightly. Women should not be accused of lying or making up stories, especially in the current climate we live in. I’m not a fan of the term rape culture, but it would be naive to claim that there isn’t a stigma around victims of assault speaking up, or a certain level of protection afforded to famous or wealthy perpetrators of assault like Jimmy Saville or Bill Cosby. But at the same time the guilt of the perpetrator should not be assumed, everything requires evidence, proof, substantiation, whatever you want to call it. To start judging people on a whim, based off an opinion, is simply not the way justice works.
Way back in the 90s there was the case of OJ Simpson, can you imagine what that would have been like if social media had existed then? We look back on it now as the case that gripped America, that the news had on a loop, that made superstars out of its lawyers and their offspring, it was arguably just a precursor to the type of attention that Ke$ha’s case is receiving today. The difference now is that other peoples’ opinions are much easier to come by, much easier to share, and it’s much easier for people to get themselves all whipped up into a frenzy by sharing thoughts with people who think the exact same thing.

So please, before you share that Complex article, before you share some meme or Lizzy the Lezzy post, think. Think about why the law does what it does, why the judge decided what they decided, think about why you’re accepting an argument. If your reason is because “Oh I read it somewhere” or “Oh, my friend shared this post,” then get the fuck out. Because that kind of mindless follower bullshit is precisely what a world with ISIS, Donald Trump and One Direction needs a hell of a lot less of.


xoxo, Judge “I am the Laaaaaaaaaw” Dredd.












The Social Justice League.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to a new age.

Welcome to the age of offence, the age of safe spaces and trigger warnings, the age of self diagnosed mental illness and the preaching of tolerance by way of intolerance. Welcome to the era of corrupted feminism, bastardised gender politics and twisted racial relations. Welcome to 2016, the year social justice disappeared up its own arsehole.

One of my previous posts also descended into a little diatribe on modern liberalism, but the stuff mentioned above is a different category entirely.
This isn’t liberal ideology pushed to the max, in fact it doesn’t really sit anywhere on the political spectrum at all, it’s a phenomenon that’s been wholly created and driven forwards by the internet and one website in particular. Tumblr. For those of you who don’t know what it is or what happens on there, let me break it down for you. Roughly 20% of tumblr is normal, people just posting shit, artwork or poetry or just blogging random stuff. Another 10-15% is porn, like a lot of porn, I mean you should see some of these pages. There’s pictures, and videos, and even gifs, gifs of porn, as if someone could get their jollies to the same motion repeated endlessly on a loop. Actually, people seem to like football quite a lot, maybe it isn’t so far fetched…

But the rest of tumblr, 65% or whatever I’m not so good at maths, is home to some of the most hilarious, histrionic, hysterical pseudo-psych social science babble ever to be expelled onto the bits and bytes of the internet.
There’s hardcore feminists calling for the death of all men, there’s lesbians hating on gay people, there’s transgender people telling asexual people they can’t sit with them, there’s a whole slew of bullshit made up terms for sexuality and gender, there’s people diagnosing themselves with PTSD, OCD, ADD, ADHD, anxiety issues and Aspergers and Dyslexia, and that’s all before we get to the minefield of clusterfuckery that is the “otherkin” phenomenon, a word so bullshitty that my laptop just tried to change it to “therein” repeatedly thinking I was having some sort of stroke.

For those of you who have never seen this website, never wish to, and have no idea what I’m talking about, consider yourselves lucky. This shit is infuriating, it’s a generation of teens growing up thinking that they’re special snowflakes owed some kind of preferential treatment by society and the world at large. It’s nothing more than narcissism and attention seeking disguised by co-opting genuine issues and turning them into a sideshow, manipulating them to suit personal agendas. It’s an attitude that is jaw dropping in its absurdity, and the worst thing is that it’s spreading.
Things that used to pop up as niche issues by people looking to turn everything into an issue are seeping slowly into the mainstream. The term “man spreading” took off early last year, because apparently having a dick and balls between your legs and therefore needing to space your thighs apart a little so you don’t batwing is some kind of patriarchy enforcing sexual harassment that warrants a billion think pieces in HuffPo.
Beyoncé’s recent performance at the Super Bowl was dissected by commenters who either saw it as some giant step for black empowerment, or as a further wedge being driven into America’s already fractured race relations. Most people, myself included, couldn’t give a fuck. She’s a good artist, she performed a decent song, whatever ties she attempted to make to the Black Panthers etc. were inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.
(Seriously, all this and Taylor goddamn Swift wins album of the year over Kendrick’s absolutely incredible To Pimp A Butterfly, solid progress there guys, she really made a difference, give yourselves a hand).

A quick aside, if you will, on the concept of an “otherkin.” Otherkins are people, who probably also diagnosed themselves with some kind of mental condition (and probably actually have some), who believe that they are actually another entity that is merely trapped in a human body. It started off with animals, which is just pretty childlike, we’ve all run around howling like a wolf or meowing like a cat at some point during our single figure years. But then it spread, and people started identifying themselves as all kinds of shit. Star-kins, Egg-kins, Dragon-kins, I’m pretty sure I saw a screenshot of someone identifying themselves as a Plasma-kin. A fucking plasma-kin. I can’t even tell if that was a parody or not, because the “real” kins have gotten so bat shit insane that anything seems plausible.
For a fun game, comment on this post or under the Facebook link what kin you are, I’m pretty sure I’m a Brownie-kin. Soft and chocolatey with a gooey centre, and bad for your arteries.

But that’s just the tip of the influence iceberg, other shit has crept into real life so subtly that people haven’t even noticed. Did you notice when trigger warnings started appearing on things? I’m pretty sure they just popped up one day and everyone just shrugged and went “Eh, whatever, it’s no biggie.” I appreciate that some people might actually need trigger warnings, an article about rape may be distressing for rape victims, articles about war may affect veterans or those who suffer from PTSD, but do you really need one on a discussion about gender? Or about race? People have started asking for them at universities now, to be put on books on reading lists in case there’s a dated racial slur or sexist term that offends their delicate sensibilities.
Safe spaces are another one, Lena Dunham (she of sister molesting fame) apparently left Twitter because it wasn’t a safe space, which is just a cowardly way of saying “other people have different opinions to me and I can’t handle that because I think I’m so goddamn important.” Here’s a fun fact for you, people have different opinions, and they don’t have to give a flying fuck about your feelings.

This isn’t some rant against PC culture, political correctness in and of itself is no bad thing, you can’t really take issue with not using the N-word or paki as insults, essentially turning someone’s ethnicity into a joke. This is a long, rambling, poorly structured rant about the current slide we seem to be on towards a sanitised world.
A world where free speech is only allowed when it agrees with your own views, as Peter Tatchell found out recently,  where people compete over who’s the most oppressed, who’s more of a minority, who’s more of a victim.
What these people don’t realise is that we don’t have a political spectrum, we have a political circle. Go too far to the right, complete deregulation etc., and you move from conservatism to the definition of liberty. Go too far to the left and you move from a government providing services to a government controlling services, dictation to dictatorship. This is what’s happening right now on the blogs and articles put out by oh so many self appointed arbiters of social justice. They don’t seem to understand that all they’re doing by crying victim and claiming offence at everything is merely another form of censorship. By silencing dissent they liken themselves more to the hard right than the hard left, actually no wait, is it the other way around. Haha no, it doesn’t even matter, because here’s the kicker – they’re the same fucking thing.

I read this quote a long time ago, and it’s stuck with me, and it’s one of the reasons why all of this bugs me so much. It’s from that most treasured of national treasures, Mr.Stephen Fry – “It’s now very common to hear people say, “I’m rather offended by that”, as if that gives them certain rights. It’s no more than a whine. It has no meaning, it has no purpose, it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. “I’m offended by that.” Well, so fucking what?”
Now a lot of people have taken issue with this quote, saying Fry’s a bit of a hypocrite or he shouldn’t say what people can and can’t be offended by etc., but really read it, that’s not what he’s saying at all. What he’s saying is that claiming offence in and of itself means nothing to anyone but the person claiming offence, what he’s saying is that you’re no more special than any of the other 7 billion odd Homo Sapiens Sapiens currently wandering about this ball of dirt.

There’s more I want to say, but that starts drifting into other areas that warrant their own rant, so I’ll leave you all with this. If you are one of the people who uses tumblr, who thinks that all of the things I’ve disparaged are actual issues that bear serious consideration, feel free to write a comment or a response explaining why. Because as far as I can see, what we are soon going to have on our hands is a generation of people who (in the words of Father John Misty, praise be) have been “told too many times they’re beyond their years” by fellow precious flowers. And those are some people I really, really don’t want to meet in real life.

xoxo, The “Angry is my trigger word and Indian is cultural appropriation you cishet shitlord”